Please Don't Feed the Animals: Trollblood Theme Lists

Hi, all. Yet another long hiatus; lots of life things going on which have been keeping me away from blogging and hobbying in general. So, I got a new phone and War Room was the first app I installed. This led to some list making because I had that oh-so-delicious blank slate under my Armies tab. I wrote up Runes of War so it was there and my variation of Calandra's Tier 3 Evolutionary Elementalism, which is a blast to play by the way. Bah, I might as well discuss my version while I'm mentioning it. My list makeup is:

50 points
Calandra Truthsayer, Oracle of the Glimmerwood - WB: +5
-    Pyre Troll - PC: 4
-    Slag Troll - PC: 5
-    Slag Troll - PC: 5
-    Storm Troll - PC: 4
-    Storm Troll - PC: 4
-    Winter Troll - PC: 4

Krielstone Bearer & Stone Scribes - Leader & 5 Grunts: 4
-    Stone Scribe Elder - Elder 1
Trollkin Runeshapers - Leader & 2 Grunts: 4
Trollkin Runeshapers - Leader & 2 Grunts: 4
Trollkin Warders - Leader & 4 Grunts: 8
Trollkin Warders - Leader & 4 Grunts: 8

Beasts: I was compelled to have at least 1 of every elemental troll in this battlegroup but they all have purpose. Believe it or not I find the Pyre to be the least effective in most cases; however having the continuos fire and fire immunity is nice. The winter troll is actually nice to take out stealth models or models dug in behind walls. I actually targeted my own warder in order to kill Gorman last game I played. Sprays are always good even if you have the crazy anti-infantry of Stormtrolls in your list.

Units: this one is fairly obvious; two units of warders is fucking good, no matter how you shake it. I also took two units of Runeshapers as well because they are more accurate then the trolls despite having the same range and using them as a means to knockdown a unit to tie them up is worth 4 points in my opinion. They also have pathfinder which is great for this list. I skipped out on Whelps because Calandra's soothing song covers my fury management and Janissa was left out because she would be used in Runes of War(character restrictions).

If you haven't played a variation of this list, I highly suggest trying it out because it is a good deal of fun. I played around with the notion of putting a Mountain King in but I can't see an angle to make him not be a liability. Next list is a Jarl Tier 4 Highwaymen list that I have not played but would love to try(hint, hint to my friends). The list is as such:

50 points
Jarl Skuld, Devil of the Thornwood - WB: +6
-    Troll Impaler - PC: 5
-    Troll Impaler - PC: 5
-    Pyre Troll - PC: 5
-    Swamp Troll - PC: 4

Stone Scribe Chronicler - PC: 2

Kriel Warriors - Leader & 9 Grunts: 6
-    3 1 Thrower's: 3
-    Kriel Warrior Standard & Piper - Standard & Piper 2
Scattergunners - Leader & 9 Grunts: 8
-    Scattergunner Officer & Standard
- Officer & Standard 0
Scattergunners - Leader & 9 Grunts: 8
-    Scattergunner Officer & Standard
- Officer & Standard 2
Sons of Bragg - Wrathar, Tor & Rhudd: 6

Beasts: my thought process on this one was that having two Impalers handing out Snipe was better than one. Having Reach beasts to combine with Charge of the Trolls from the Chronicler seemed legit as well. The Pyre is there mostly for the damage buff which would be put on the SoBs. The Swamp Troll is one of my favorite lights, especially when coupled with Snipe. Consuming a solo or dragging a warcaster/warlock in so the rest of your force gets free reign to beat on him is great.

Units: I took what I had to take but I feel Kriel Warriors are sweet with Jarl in theme or not. With quicken and them praying swiftfoot, on top of the tier bonus, your kriels can be 28"/31" from your board edge turn 1. Luckily for you, all those models that decide to engage them will get sprayed down next turn with scatterguns that ignore friendly models. The SoBs are in there for the weaponmaster trait mostly, they are a good unit but need a good screen to survive.

Solos: the only solo is the chronicler. This model is all round awesome. That first round when you are going to run those Kriels 31" up the board, make sure you use Heroes' Tragedy on them first. Up against a shooty list? Then have Jarl cast Weald Secrets on the Kriels and the chronicler tells the Tale of Mists; DEF 16 Kriel Warriors. Both work great and with Jarl's feat you can get your concealment and counter-KD too.

This list is in your face fast. It lacks a bit in the ARM cracking department but it seems like a decent list all together. Well, that's all for now. See you real soon!

Bang Your Heads: Gojira and Mastodon at Starland Ballroom

On November 1, I got the pleasure of once again seeing the bands Gojira and Mastodon on stage once again for Mastodon's tour of One More 'Round the Sun tour. I had seen both bands in New York in early spring and the show was amazing. In July, I was visiting some friends in Baltimore and got the idea of buying some tickets while having a nice brew at a bar. And there it was; the same show, close enough to me and on a Saturday. At first I thought it was a dream but I snapped back to reality and promptly bought tickets. Neither band is ever a let down.

The above picture is Gojiro playing their 8 song set. I would love to see them as headliners. They are such a great band live; super tight and whoever does their live mixing must be some kind of savant. I have no complaints, even though they didn't play "Flying Whales" the set list was still killer. This band is an absolute joy to see live and I highly recommend giving them a shot if you haven't listened to them. You have to like metal though; that is a prerequisite.

Mastodon headlined the show and it was awesome. The set list included favorites like "Blood and Thunder" and "Oblivion" but was mostly filled with songs from the newest album which the tour is named for. "High Road" live is something that everyone relatively interested in Mastodon should experience. Once again, this band has impressed me with their live performance. They aren't much of showmen, but their presence is their music not stupid human tricks with instruments. Pumped up on the awesomeness that was the show, I broke away to buy a beer and a $35 t-shirt; now that's dedication! I can't wait to go see them again and highly recommend seeing them.

If you have an interest in metal, check both bands out. I find Gojiro to be a bit more of an acquired taste but still great. Mastodon probably has a little more mass appeal and have put out some great albums. Give them a try!

Enjoy

That Was a Crazy Game of Poker: Castle of the Keys

Admittedly, I have been forsaking my blog a bit and if anyone actually looks at this regularly, I apologize. I actually have a few topics to post so let's start with my reaction to unboxing the Hordes High Command expansion, Castle of the Keys. We'll start with the box.

At first glance, this box looks chock full o' good shit. There are some great new cards including new Winds of War cards that give you a more diverse assortment of turn bonuses. All of the factions ended up getting some fun things as well. All in all, I have been pleased with the progression the expansions have taken. They add just enough to not be daunting as far as learning curve and enough to allow you new strategies in deck building. So back to the box. Lets open it up.

LOOK OUT! IT'S A SCORPION! Unlike Daenerys Targaryen, I did not have Sir Barristan to swat away the trap inside. I refuse to play any Level 7 game. I don't know what's worse; opening this box and finding this or opening a Cards Against Humanity deck and pulling the tired joke of the "big black dick" card out first. I can't explain why I am so anti-Level 7 but I am. It may have to do with the unrelenting jamming of it down our throats. On the last Primecast, they teased at the beginning about sticking around to the end for this big announcement. Surprise, surprise, sand in your eyes: Level 7 advertisement starring the most annoying thing to come out of Privateer Press, Insider 51. The segment was painful to listen to and I actually turned it off shortly after see the ploy pan out.  Anyways, after pulling away the shameless promotion, the cards are revealed.

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!? That's it? So let me get this straight. You made the box that big to make sure the Level 7 promo pamphlet made it in there? I can hear the fucking trees that gave their lives to make this box screaming right now. I could really use an explanation for this and I really hope the answer isn't "that's my dick in a box."

Turn The Page: "Monster Hunter International" by Larry Correia

The first thing I have to say is that I have read a lot if not all of Larry Correia's Warmachine fiction and I enjoyed it. His writing style is very readable and is free of annoying stylizations that might get tiresome while reading (this is directed at Ari Marmell). This book was on the long side for the story it was telling; however, I could definitely see the argument of the length developing the whole world in which the story takes place. I generally enjoyed the book but certain things kind of annoyed me.

First off, I tend to dislike "the one" stories in that I feel like everything comes very easily to the character and hardships/dangers aren't so bad in that you know the character will come out of it okay if not mostly okay. I think this is why the Song of Fire and Ice series has such mass appeal; no one is safe, which lends to a lot of edge of your seat moments and plenty of "what the fuck"s. This is a "the one" story. Even though things do get explained as to why he is so special, it still left me with the feeling of **yawn** by the end of it. I never felt, even when fighting the ultimate foe, that the main character was in any real danger.

The second thing that was irksome about the book was the main character reminding us how physically big and brutish he is. The character is obviously modeled after Mr. Correia, who is a large man and a gun fanatic, but I don't need to be reminded every 25-50 pages of how big the character is. You may be reading this with no familiarity with this book or the series and think that I'm over reacting; read it and tell me it doesn't get annoying.

All in all, I can't say at times I didn't feel like it was a chore to read; it had slow parts but was generally okay. I'm actually not interested in reading the rest of the series, in that I feel like it will just be this book with different monsters. That being said, I don't think I would really recommend this one. I would recommend his Warmachine fiction however.

Have Fun!

Please Don't Feed The Animals: Exigence

The smell of a new book is always a welcome aroma. I received my copy of Exigence the day after release and despite the fact I had all the models ruined for me from all the spoilers, I was eager to find out what was next in the story.

I'm going to try my damnedest to not spoil anything in the new fluff but if I do please forgive me. It seems that the involvement of dragons are becoming more frequent in the lore which makes me speculate that the next Hordes faction will be the followers of perhaps Charsaug or his twin. You will see a good deal of them as well as the involvement of another dragon, Blighterghast. All in all, I'm pleased with where the lore is going. Borka's story in this book is great but I have a trollkin bias. It is also interesting to see what Kreuger is up to as well as Barnabas finally making the necessary steps toward his final goal. It's all worth reading, is all I have to say after this mindless drabble.

As far as rules here are some of my thoughts and opinions on the factions I play. I'm an optimist about new model releases for the most part; I try to find use for the new things that come out. From what I have read on various forums and even on the different Faction Facebook pages, new releases are becoming more and more situational. People have complained about the lack of new auto-includes in these last few books. I think the game could be potentially ruined by always putting in the auto-include because it negates the need for some of the older models/units. I am very pleased with how PP does their releases; not only does everyone get something new relatively at the same time but making a new investment into recently released models is completely optional. Ok, enough of that, time to get into the factions that I care about.


Trollbloods:

Epic Borka is pretty sweet in my opinion. His initially reception by the community included some head-scratching and some "reallys?" but he seems super fun if built correctly. In my opinion, he also brings new life to that bearded bastard the winter troll, in that giving his Battlegroup immunity: cold, winter trolls have carte blanche to spray into combat without hurting their buddys.

I like both of the new units. The highwaymen seem okay but I am very excited for the fire eaters. That pig buddy sets them on fire and you get two boosted sprays with assault! Love it! Braylen also intrigues me me a bit and that model will most likely be awesome. I'm still trying to sort out her uses. Dozer and Smigg seem solid but I would have to do some play testing to really see if they are worth taking over some of my other choices for their position. Let's not forget about Horgle; I find him to be great even for just being a source of fury management. That being said, I don't feel that any of the lessees could really compete in the resource management with the Journeyman Warcasters. Blame the Fury mechanic.

Minions:

Jaga-Jaga is super cool in my book! Another caster that can actually get her force to do some damage is always very welcome. Her anti-spell tech is also pretty sweet, being able to circumnavigate defender's ward and arcane shield is great. She is most likely going to be a popular choice for list pairings.

The Sacral Vault will really help Blindwater's ranged game a good amount; it's not all about turtles anymore, but I could see the coupling of the two being pretty good. I'm pleased that there is another option now that can directly replace a posse pointwise and give a different kind of strategy.

I do have a pig army but I'll admit that I'm not well versed in them yet. The Efaarit Scouts seem like they will help the slaughterhousers out big time. Just have the scouts move up, use sniper to do one damage on a jack/beast and as long as you can get those housers into melee, you've already prepped the target for finisher. I'm thinking I could definitely utilize them in Trolls, as well as Maximus, who is just a deadly little 2 point solo.

The meat grinder is another model I might definitely invest in for my Troll army.  Love the bulldoze aspect and the knockdown/trash combo is really nice. This thing also seems like it will be a good method of taking out those pesky high DEF tarpits.

I like the releases that are relevant to my factions, even though I am slightly bummed that Blindwater only got 2 releases. I can only hope for more next time. That's it for now!

Happy Little Trees: Painting Tartans

I've been asked by a couple people how I painted the tartans on my trolls and how I picked the colors and patterns that make them up. When I decided to undertake this initially, I won't lie, I was intimidated. I was totally tempted to just go the route of colored sash wearing trollkin and call it a day. A lot of it too was laziness on my part. I imagined they were very time consuming but my dear ole' dad's bit of advice lead me to do it. The advice was: "You aren't supposed to rush hobbies; You're doing this for enjoyment and to create something that you take pride in. Why speed through it?" I don't think I could put it better; however, painting the tartans will become second nature after a little practice and will make your trollkin look awesome!

I strongly suggest to go to Google, pop "tartans" into the search box and look at what pops up under images. Literally hundreds of patterns will appear before your eyes. This is where you will want to decide on your line layout and your end target. I came up with my own color scheme and line layout (or I accidentally recreated an existing one without knowing it). It is totally okay to dumb down one of the traditional patterns, in that this will be on a miniature and even a simple version will look great.

Colors(Left to Right): P3 Beaten Purple, Iosan Green, Frostbite

First step is to pick that base color. You want your tartans to pop on your model, so that means choose a color that is directly contrasting to your armor color or the predominate color on your models. If you are using a metallic for armor, silver is usually bluish and bronze/copper is in the red family. My trolls have orange armor, so I chose purple. After painting a couple models with the purple scheme, I also decided that some future models will use a green tartan pattern that you will see to the right of the purple scheme. The bluish scheme to the far right was just me playing around. 

In the picture above, the smaller lines on the bottom is what you will see and actually paint on the model's tartan and boxes on top are what the tartans would look like if they were unfolded. I'm doing this so you can see why I put lines where they are on the model's tartan and I strongly suggest you do this little exercise prior to attempting it on a model. Lay a base coat on the tartan and shade it, so it looks like a colored sash.

Colors(Left to Right): P3 Ironhull Grey, Cryx Bane Base, Exile Blue

Step two is to paint broad vertical stripes as in the above picture. The color should be darker than the base tartan color. Usually a darker shade of the base color works, like the green scheme above but grey seems to work for just about any.

Colors(Left to Right): P3 Ironhull Grey, Cryx Bane Base, Exile Blue

In step three, I use the same color to make horizontal broad stripes. This step is where you will see your pattern begin to emerge. 

Colors(Left to Right): P3 Menoth White Base, Underbelly Blue, Murderous Magenta

Step four, aka The Hard Part, requires a thin brush, a steady hand and patience. Choose a color that will stick out from your base color. You probably want to pick anything that will be visible to be honest. The layout of these lines is completely up to you. On my purple scheme I decided to make the small lines doubled and on the green they are just single lines. You will notice that most of the time, you will not actually see these secondary lines bisect on the model.

Colors(Left to Right): P3 Heartfire, Khador Red Highlight, Necrotite Green

The final step is to choose a color that is nice and bright. This last color is the one that will make you say "wow." It is import to make it completely contrast your base color. As you can see on the blue example all the way on the right, I used green which is close to blue on the color chart. It doesn't have the same effect that a yellow, orange or red would have had. Once the color is chosen, paint the squares in the middle of the crosses that your first broad stripes created. Viola! Tartans!

While doing the last step, if you feel that some of the little squares are too bright just use a black wash and dull them out a bit. 

I also noticed that my green tartan has one thing I need to change. My little squares are orange and  my armor color is orange. You will want to avoid this, trust me; it won't look right. I will most likely use Menoth White Base for them. 

I hope this has been helpful and I will always answer questions. Enjoy.

Please Don't Feed The Animals: Trollblood Memes

After getting a Meme maker app on my phone and growing bored of making memes that featured pictures of my friends; I decided to make some Trollblood ones. Enjoy.

Fennblade Fun:


Borka Rides Again:







The Disgruntled Kriel Warrior: